


Hawke and the Inquisitor

by Willowflower_Waterlily



Series: Aches and Healing (Evelyn and Malcolm Series 1) [2]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Implied Female Inquisitor/Cullen Rutherford, Male Hawke POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-01
Updated: 2015-06-01
Packaged: 2018-04-02 06:55:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4050490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willowflower_Waterlily/pseuds/Willowflower_Waterlily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Drabbles that take place before and during http://archiveofourown.org/works/3963820 (By Felandris) and http://archiveofourown.org/works/3966760/chapters/8897950.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Hawke looks over the Inquisitor. He thinks about everything Varric had told him about her. It isn’t right that someone like her was thrown into this war. Hawke knows it should have been him instead, for his role in fighting Coryfeus years ago. "I'm sorry you got stuck with my mess."

"This isn't your fault. How could you know what was going to happen? I've read about what happened. You had to go."  The Inquisitor gives him a sympathetic look. For a moment, it seems as though she’s going to reach out to Hawke, to comfort him. She drops her hand instead, glancing away from him.

"I suppose you're right, Inquisitor." Hawke shrugs, not knowing what else to do. "I wish I could have helped you sooner, but know that I will help now, in any way I can. I swear it to you."

"Thank you." the Inquisitor smiles shyly. "And call me Evelyn. I have enough people calling me by my title." Hawke laughs, remembering when everyone in Kirkwall addressed him as Champion. "I'll see you in Crestwood." She walks away before he can reply. Hawke watches her, trying to figure out what seemed off.

"I know that look. She’s kind of got a thing going with Curly."

"What, with that prig?" Hawke stares raising an eyebrow at Varric. Having known the Commander in Kirkwall, he would have never thought he was the type to have a relationship with any woman, let alone have one with his superior.

"I know I didn't expect it either. I don't know much about it, other than it started back in Haven." Varric looks away for a moment, gazing out over the courtyard. "It doesn't seem like a healthy relationship, from what I can gather. I have Dorian and Cole helping me look out for her. They haven't said anything yet, so nothing to worry about. Besides, Leliana, Josephine, or Cassandra would have put a stop to it if it wasn't going anywhere pleasant."

"I hope whatever it is makes her happy. She deserves at least that much after getting saddled with my mess." Hawke pats Varric on the back. "Drinks before I head out?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 6/18/15


	2. Chapter 2

Staring out from the mouth of the cave at the seemingly unending darkness and rain, Hawke wouldn’t be surprised to find out that Crestwood is cursed. He heard what happened during the blight, all of the people who died when Old Crestwood was flooded. The green light emanating from a cavern under the lake created by the floodwater fades, seconds later, the rain stops and the clouds part.

Hawke rubs and shields his eyes, reacting to the sudden brightness. When they finally adjust fully to the sunlight, he sees Evelyn, Dorian, Varric, and Cole walking toward the cave. "Glad you made it. I just got here myself." Hawke glances briefly at everyone, his gaze lingering a little longer on Evelyn.

"Hopefully your Warden friend won't be too choosy about our choice of accessories." Evelyn grins at him. "Or our delightful odor."

"I was just about to comment." Hawke chuckles. "What is that lovely smell?"

"It's a combination of corpses and demons, with just a hint of rift magic." Evelyn laughs. "It's Orlesian."

"Naturally, any country in which the ham tastes of despair would make a perfume that smells of death. Shall we?" Hawke gestures toward the interior of the cave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited 6/19/15


	3. Chapter 3

Hawke broods in his tent, thinking back to what had happened at the ritual tower. Why is it always blood mages? After Kirkwall, Hawke hoped he would never have to deal with another blood mage for the rest of his life. Alas, it seems it is not to be.

The expression on Evelyn’s face after the fight had broken through Hawke’s haze of anger. For a moment, when she looked in his direction, Evelyn let him see past her mask to the pain and fear that lay beneath. Even after she became the Inquisitor again, he could read her emotions in her body language. It was then that Hawke wanted to comfort her, to do anything he could to take her pain away.

“You should have.” Cole’s voice interrupts Hawke’s thoughts. He looks up from his hands to the spirit. “You should have held her. You still can.” Cole stares at him, frowning. “No, that isn’t why you want to comfort her. You care for her, more than you are willing to admit to yourself.” Hawke opens his mouth to reply, but Cole vanishes before he can.

Hawke finds Evelyn by the hot springs at the edge of camp. “How could they?” Her voice is barely above a whisper when she speaks. When Evelyn turns to face him, Hawke sees that she has been crying, her eyes are red and puffy. Without thinking he pulls her into an embrace, and is surprised when she leans into him instead of pulling away.

“I don’t know Evelyn.” Hawke gently rubs her back, resting his head on hers. He tries to force the thoughts of how right it feels to hold her from his mind, but he can’t. Hawke thinks on what Cole had told him, and he knows that the spirit is right. That he does care for Evelyn for more than the guilt he bears for his part in this war. Were she unattached, perhaps someday he would have let Evelyn know his feelings for her. Hawke prays that Cullen makes her happy. That it would be enough to know someone is, even if it can’t be him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rewritten 6/20/15


	4. Chapter 4

"Is there a reason why you're staring up at Evie?" Dorian stands besides Hawke.

"She is in pain." Hawke pulls out a flask and takes a sip, before offering it to Dorian. The mage takes it, nodding in appreciation before taking a drink.

"You have good taste in liquor." He hands Hawke back his flask, almost empty. "I have to ask though, why do you care if Evie is in pain? Why did you comfort her after the ritual tower?"

"She doesn't deserve the mess that's been laid at her feet, my mess. I comforted her because Cole said it would help." Hawke finishes what's left of his drink. He keeps waiting for Cullen to appear at Evelyn's side, and tries to think of a time when he had seen them together. Hawke can't think of any. This isn't the first time he has seen her so hurt. Why isn't Cullen there for her if they have something together?

"I don't think she should be alone right now, Dorian." Hawke notices a change in Evelyn's body language that scares him. "You're her best friend, if anyone can help her it would be you." Pulling out a second flask, Hawke hands it to Dorian, without taking his eyes off of Evelyn. "For her."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 6/20/15


	5. Chapter 5

"Is that the best you've got?" Hawke challenges the demon to say something else. Instead of throwing another fear in his face, the demon turns its attention to Evelyn.

"Inquisitor, it will be uncovered soon, and everyone will know. What do you think people will think of you after they find out? Do you think they will still support you?" Hawke looks over at Evelyn to see that she's more than a little shaken up at the vague threats the demon made. Dorian goes to her side before he can, and hugs her. A pang of jealousy flashes through him, but he pushes it down before he can truly think about it.

 

Hawke, Evelyn, and Stroud are stuck when the demon blocks their path out. Both Hawke and Stroud try to convince Evelyn why she should let either of them stay. Hawke feels terrible about having to put her in this position, but he knows it should be him. The Wardens need Stroud, they’ll be leaderless without him. He glances at Evelyn and his heart clenches. Hawke tries to forget the feel of having her in his arms, the emotions he’s developing for her. His hands tremble slightly as he forces himself not to reach out to her. To not touch Evelyn one last time before he sacrifices himself to save her and Stroud. It has to be him, Hawke has to be the one that gets left behind. Tears come unbidden to his eyes. He’ll never know what could have been, if there could have been something between Evelyn and himself.

“Stroud.” Evelyn’s voice shatters the spiral Hawke’s thoughts had been taking. Hawke stares at her, his mouth agape. No, it has to be him, not Stroud that stays.

"It has been an honor." Stroud runs at the demon, his blade drawn before Hawke can do or say anything to stop him. "For the Wardens!" Hawke grabs Evelyn's hand and pulls her toward the rift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited 6/20/15


	6. Chapter 6

Hawke watches from a far while Evelyn conscripts the Grey Wardens to the Inquisition. He sees that no one notices her body language, which strikes him as odd. Can’t anyone see how tense Evelyn is, or the pain she is suffering? People who know her should see the signals she’s sending out, especially Cullen. Why isn’t the commander by her side? Do they really have something? It all seems off to Hawke. If he can see through her façade, then Evelyn’s friends definitely should.

Slipping into the tent that's serving as the war room in the field, Hawke sees Evelyn staring down at the map. "Evelyn..."

"I suppose you want to ask what the demon had meant by what it said." Evelyn's voice sounds shaky, her breathing ragged.

"No, that isn't why I'm here. I wanted to make sure that you're all right." Evelyn turns to face him, and Hawke sees that she had been crying for some time. Stray tears dot her cheeks. It takes all of Hawke's willpower to not kiss away her tears. Instead, he wraps his arms around her, and lets her cry on his shoulder. "And, I wanted to ask you something. Why did you pick Stroud to stay behind?”

“I couldn’t leave you behind.” Evelyn’s body shakes as she sobs. Hawke holds her tightly, guilt wrapping around his heart. He should have known better than to ask that question. Evelyn’s sobs turn into quiet sniffles after a while. “I would have stayed behind if I could, if I didn’t have this mark on my hand.”

“No!” Hawke pulls away from Evelyn to look in her eyes. Cupping her cheeks with his hands, Hawke gently wipes her tears away. “Please, don’t say things like that. Promise me you won’t put yourself into a situation like that again.”

“I can’t make that promise.” Sadness clouds Evelyn’s features. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, I understand.” Hawke watches Evelyn’s cheeks flush under his hands. His gaze drops from her eyes to her lips for a moment before returning to her eyes. How easy it would be to kiss her, Maker how he wants to. Are her lips as soft as they look? Would she kiss him back? Hawke’s heart pounds in his chest as he stands in front of the woman he has come to care for more than he ever realized he would. Leaning toward her, Hawke presses a kiss to her forehead. “Try to be careful.”

“I will, I promise.” Evelyn wraps her arms around Hawke, laying her head on his shoulder. “Thank you, for being there for me.” Hawke hugs her and prays he will always be able to be a support for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 6/20/15


	7. Chapter 7

"Have you noticed a change in Evelyn?" Hawke and Varric stand on a remote part of the battlements, looking out over the darkening landscape.

"She's been like that for some time, ever since she ended whatever she had with Curly." Varric shakes his head. "But it's been worse of late, because Josephine is trying to push her to get married to one of the many nobles trying to win her."

"I take it she doesn't want to be married."  Hawke lets his mind wander for a moment, briefly holding the image of watching Evelyn walking down the aisle toward him, before pushing the thought away.

"I don't know if she doesn't want to get married at all, but I do know that she doesn't want any of the ones being pushed on her. Evie is a smart girl, she knows they want to use her for her power." A small flash of green catches Hawke's eye, and he subtly points it out to Varric.

"We should follow her."

"What's our excuse for leaving now?" Varric looks from the escaping Evelyn back to Hawke.

"I prefer to travel under the cover of night, and I do so most of the time, since Kirkwall." Hawke replies without a second though. "With how many times I've arrived in the dead of night, no one will suspect it of being false."

"And where are we heading?" Hawke watches Evelyn travel approximately north-east, and thinks of where he can tell them that would throw the Inquisition off her trail.

"Lothering, I want to show you where I grew up."

"Very well, let's be on our way." Varric says laughing. "It'll be an adventure."

"Just like old times, my friend."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 6/20/15


End file.
